Loving with a broken heart … chapter 1

What does one do with love? Love it! Love loving, indulge in it.  Noitce, no matter who the object of your desire is, who you really love is your own capacity to feel and experience your own reflection in the eyes of another.Mostly, what happens when we are in love and when it feels the love is not returned or people choose not to create a relationshp with us that we want to have with them, we pull away.  What I did in cases like this, I would love secretly, I would write about my desires in my journal, secretly pray to the Universe and God to grant me time with this person such that I can have them see me differently and have a change of heart, I became restless with my desire to win.  Rarely is it really about truly connecting with that person, however, deep inside, what is driving the feelings is the desire to connect.  But my own fear of loosing, not being known, not being appreciated or loved, kept me at arm lenght.

Another thing that may happen is, we share how we feel with our family, friends and loved ones.  And, then they have this obsessive desire to help us, to make us feel better and they start trashing the object of our desire such that we can let go and move on.  For the most part, we do that.  We move on or at least say something really nasty to them such that no opportunity of conversation can occur and in that way, we keep the door closed to never be open again.  It’s everywhere in language, “don’t warm up the old meal,” “if it’s not easy, it isn’t it” and so on.  The truth is, when you dig deep or when you really become intimate with people and ask them about what the trick is that they have their relationship be so powerful, long and fulfilling, they will all tell you the same thing, just wrapped in a different package: they didn’t quit, they worked things out.  No 2 people just magically came together with nothing to ever deal with.  I haven’t met them anyway.

So, it isn’t necessary to let go and move on. I think that actually allowing feelings and emotions to come up, finding a way to communicate them, especially with your partner, or ex partner, can be very educational and healing.  Especially if you take the foot off of the break and say what is really there.  That is a good first step.  Talk! Say what is there! Get it all out! and remember, you are doing this for you