Days after the wedding…

I surely thought while I was single that being in a relationship would occur like I finally arrived somewhere.  It did seem like that would mean that life is now perfect and everyone would live happily ever after.  I have found a perfect match and am sure he is a man of my dreams and my reality.  But life didn’t get all perfect since we got together.  On contrary…our wedding planning stirred up all the stuff from the past that before, as single people, we didn’t need to deal with.

Namely, I didn’t just marry my husband.  I married the family members and inherited the way they related to each other.  It takes everything I got to accept people the way they are and allow them in.  I have this internal feng shui guide that makes it so hard for me to allow relationships that are toxic.  I am so completely anal that way…If  I don’t want something, I don’t even want to see it.  Seeing it makes me uncomfortable, exposed and vulnerable to the damage I can be caused.

In any case… I am allowing myself to be..I have seen that I was offended and that my anger covered up the pain within.  So…I said what I needed to say… now… now I am free

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