Waiting for something to come my way…

I have had my blood pressure raised so high today.  Namely, a friend of mine, with the best intention, included me in her group of women that were creating a financial abundance.  It started off fine, we were bragging about all the things we are very grateful for, and whining about all those things that annoy us.  Included in our daily correspondence was also a creation of spending habits, provided we had a $1000 more to spend every day.  I think nothing bad of it, it’s a great mental stretch to be thinking in those directions.

This morning, however, I began to feel an energy being drained and experienced a complete powerlessness in dealing with my life as is, namely with the debt I have inherited in my marriage.  I felt that it was awkward and unkind of me to be spending time chatting with the girls on how we can attract more money and be gifted the luxury we so strongly desire.  I have nothing against luxury.  I want every piece of it in my own life, but I think it lacks partnership to be using my energy in creating a want for money as opposed to take a couple simple actions a day to acquire it and earn it.

I am not trying to be judgmental here.  To every woman who can sit back and be handed over a check for her spending, I salute.  It is just, simply put, not my cup of tea.  It hurts me to the core to watch my man’s willingness to provide and exhaustion at the end of the day because he’s been alone in it.  It is time I step it up.  If I am only 10% responsible for my earnings of how I used to be only a half a year ago, we would be financially free in no time.

Perhaps dwelling on my desire can create me absolute abundance.  Then I am a dumb arrogant old school girl who thinks she is capable enough on her own to bring in some cash to the table.  I think it will create a whole new partnership and a bond that will be stronger than ever.  I believe in us. I believe in me

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